I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
