I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
