Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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