Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
