Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
