Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
