Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
