I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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