why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
