true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
