Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
