My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
