Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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