guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
