just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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