We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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