You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize