are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
