Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
