Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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