its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you would pick up someone in the library
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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