Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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