dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
