Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I didn't notice because vodka
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize