I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
