I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
