he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
