tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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