Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
