It's Friday. Sex?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize