I only kidnapped one of them. chill
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
