Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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