Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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