DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
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