My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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