so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
