We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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