I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
