Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
