I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize