would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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