I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
