Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
