He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
