I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize