dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
