she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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