i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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