I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
