had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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