You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
