I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
