he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
