i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
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