I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
