is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
