trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
