I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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