You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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