we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize