i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
