operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
