Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
