Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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