i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We had to coat check the pizza.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
