He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize