question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
